Loneliness

Loneliness is a complex and usually unpleasant emotional response to isolation. Loneliness typically includes anxious feelings about a lack of connection or communication with other beings, both in the present and extending into the future. As such, loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people. The causes of loneliness are varied and include social, mental, emotional, and physical factors.

This definition of loneliness sums it so well. This past week I have had this one overriding emotion. LONELINESS has been my dark companion. Missing Yolanda, my soulmate, both in her physical and emotional presence. My dark companion has caused me to doubt myself, it has made me question whether I will ever survive this loss. It has made me question whether my medication is sufficient. Will I need to be taking these meds for the rest of my life? Even at times this dark friend has whispered into my ear, “is it worth going on”.

In talking about this loneliness with my daughters it was a real reminder that this feeling is only relevant to one area of my life, and because I loved and was loved it will be forever present.

This conversation made me reflect on other aspects of my life. We are complex beings and only allowing one emotion to define us is flawed.