As I have travelled this journey with grief I have been really privileged to have come across many good people. Initially I had family and friends creating a tight circle around us. They helped out in ways that are hard to describe in words, the best description I can think of is that they gave me some breathing space. Then there is my work colleagues who gave me the space and time to grieve. Many of my colleagues stepping up to the plate when I was simply unable to. Then there is my “GriefShare” group that I stumbled upon, we have become a tight group and have become a magnificent support system for one another. There have also been many like me who blog and have freely shared their thoughts and emotions. Reading the blogs of others and realizing that I am not alone in this journey has brought with it a weird but wonderful comfort.
However my two heroes of my life have been my beautiful intelligent daughters. Watching how they have “coped” under these extreme circumstances has been truly spectacular. My youngest was 11yrs old when Yolanda passed away. In this time she has taken on a project with her friend to make and sell ribbons for cancer, the aim to build awareness of this awful disease and raise some funds to be donated towards helping people with cancer. My eldest 15yrs old at the time of Yolanda’s passing has grown and developed into a mature young lady. She has also been able to assist another classmate who lost their mother recently.
Now don’t think for one moment that it has been easy sailing, no it has not, every now and then a storm comes rushing in threatening to capsize the boat. Just as the storm feels like it is about to rip our boat apart it seems to move away allowing a calm breeze to blow across our faces reminding us that we are still alive.
I have also come to the conclusion that Yolanda’s passing could not have come into our life’s in order to only deliver pain, there must be a purpose. The purpose has been growing inside of me slowly as the pain of grief has given me a new perspective on life. What is truly important? Where should I be investing most of my time? How do I treat others? I can absolutely say without a word of doubt that grief has been most life changing emotion I have ever come across. Do I hate this “grief”, no I don’t. I only hate the manner in which I arrived at this point. In fact I am grateful for this grief, it shows that I loved and was loved, as it has molded me into a new person.
So I now embark on a new journey as a facilitator at the GriefShare group where I got so much help. It is now my turn to utilize this pain towards a purpose of helping others who find themselves where I was 19 months ago. Does this mean that I no longer have grief as a constant traveling companion, quite simply no, grief has a way of sticking but I have come to appreciate the good that can come from such catastrophic situations.
Thanking for reading and please feel free to share or reblog if you believe this can assist another person in need.