This week will the last week of the year of Yolanda’s passing. With it have come many emotions and fears. The ever present sadness hangs over me like a dark cloud. In the words of my sister in law, “It was the start to the trajectory of our lives that changed forever.”
A changed life forever. Never before have these words held so much meaning. Yolanda’s passing away changed lives forever.
So I thought it would be good to revisit one of my earlier post. The last week
I have read this post numerous times today and the freshness of the pain remains the same.
However there is a new fear within and it is intensifying with each day as I approach the anniversary of Yolanda’s passing. The fear that overwhelmingly takes over is that once we pass the year mark I can no longer reflect on what Yolanda was doing this time last year. In some strange weird and wonderful way this ability to reflect on the previous year made it feel as if Yolanda were still alive. Crazy but true.
I also fear that over time my memories of the life Yolanda and I had together will fade as the girls and I forge ahead with our lives and creating new memories. I fear that the fading memories would be equated to forgetting. I never want to forget Yolanda. Almost a year on and I have become more and more grateful for having had her in my life. I believe I became a better person because of her. Her unconditional love changed me and mended many wounds from my youth.