Soon it will be ten months since the passing of Yolanda. A daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend and a soulmate. Yolanda was many things and in each of these roles she excelled and thus the pain of her loss to each and everyone her knew her is immense.
In this time I have shed many tears. Every time I cry, sometimes softly and other times uncontrollably, I am reminded of the deep love that we shared.
In one of the first “Grief Share” video’s there was a gentleman who had lost his wife, if I remember correctly his name was George. He made a comment “We were taught that cowboys don’t cry, but this one does”, or at least that is how I recall it. This resonated with me as I had my heart ripped out of me, how was it not possible to cry. The pain was intense.
One encouraging note I received mentioned something about God collecting my tears in a bottle. Until recently I didn’t understand what they were saying. Only now am I able to see the message behind these words. God loves me so much that he collects my tears, but there is another message. It is okay to cry.
Another good aspect of attending Grief Share is that everyone there has walked a similar journey. They understand the tears. This is a save place to open the floodgates.
My encouragement to anyone walking this path is to be authentic and honest with yourself. Let the tears flow if they must. Don’t be guided by the expectations of others. Just remember they aren’t walking in your shoes.
Just to wrap up here are some lyrics from two songs I am listening to currently.
Blessing – Laura Story
What if your healing comes through tears.
Pictures in my head- Kermit and the Muppets
Sometimes even frogs have rainy days.