Life is a weird thing. Each year I looked forward to celebrating Yolanda’s birthday. It was another way in which I could show her that I loved her immensely and that she was a super special person in my life.

Now she is no longer with us. How do I proceed? Do I continue to mark this special day in the calendar? Do I create a new tradition for the girls and use this day to be grateful for the time that she was in our lives.

The answer is that I really don’t know what to do, this has created much anxiety and a sense of awkwardness. I know the advise would be that there is no right or wrong answer. Can it be this simple?

So for this first celebration of Yolanda’s birthday after her passing the girls and I have decided to create a herb garden. Yolanda loved to cook and this herb garden will hopefully help us to grow in our love for cooking.

Milah is already well ahead of us in terms of cooking and the love of being creative with food. She always says she feels close to her mom when she is either baking or cooking.

Hannah is growing in her skills and I know over time she will learn from Milah.

For me it is only a chore. I need to feed us as a family and try my absolute best to provide sustenance for us. Hoping this herb garden will help me feel closer to Yolanda.

I love and miss her dearly however much this pains me I need to come to terms with reality. Reality isn’t a great place to be when tragedy enters your space.

Until we meet again.

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