Yesterday as I was reversing down my driveway to go to the shops this dangerous thought came to my mind. WHY?
Grief can be like that, it sneaks up to you then announces itself with all of the unwanted fanfare you can imagine. I know that as much as I process everything that has happened I will never truly get an answer. I know that I need to accept my “situation” and that this will allow me to move forward.
I just love all the theory, it sounds awesome and so easy, until you need to walk this path. I think of the numerous times I thought I understood the pain of others and why weren’t they moving on. What a fool I was.
Yesterday I was fortunate to be able to reach out to my support system and just cry and sob my heart out. I wasn’t judged or told to pull myself together. I wasn’t told it will get better with time. I wasn’t told it will get easier. I was just heard, I was allowed to vent my pain. For this I am grateful to my sister for answering the call and just letting me be. I am privileged to have a support system that loves and cares for me. Not sure who gets to take that next call, but I want to thank you in advance for being there.
The feeling of pain stayed with me for the remainder of the day, however that call allowed me to proceed through the day without feeling stuck.
My only words of advice is to find your support system. You never know when you will be needing to make that call.